Meeting a Romantic Partner on the Internet

I think the meeting a romantic partner on the internet that has a lot of advantages.  Through the internet we can find more people, we get more choices. According to the textbook, “whereas the online encounter favored those who were verbally adept at self-presentation and did not disadvantage less attractive individuals” (DeVito 233). In my opinion, if people like this way, they will choose it to find a partner. I think this way will not affect the attractive to each other.

When people comes the internet, they all have interesting to find a good romantic partner through the internet. Some people may think we can find romantic partner through the work places or some other place, but these are limit places and time. Every day we work together with somebody, and when we work together we just focus with our jobs. So we do not have more chances to know more about our partner, and we do not have much time to talk with each other. Through the internet we can have more time to focus with the people. We are free to talk with each other. According to the textbook, “women, it seems, are more likely to form relationships on the internet than men. About 72 percent of women and 55 percent of men had formed personal relationships online” (DeVito 233). We know this is a big number, so we can use the internet to find partner.

Comparison Theory

           I think the comparison theory, or comparing ourselves with others to develop our sense of self, that are positive things. According to the textbook, “another way you develop your self-concept is by comparing yourself with others. When you want to gain insight into who you are and how effective or competent you are, you probably look to your peers” (DeVito 55). In my opinion, comparing yourself with others is a good thing. We can learn more information from other people. We can choose something we want and we care things to compare with other people.

            In my life, I like to compare myself to my father. I think my father is a really good person. He is always nice to everybody, and works hard at his job. I like to study his ways to everyday life. I think this is positive things in my life. This activity can help me learn more information from my father and from other people. Sometimes comparing yourself with other person can help you to improve your ability, and encourage you to work hard.

Self-disclosure

        what is self-disclosure, according to the textbook,” self-disclosure refers to communicating information about yourself (usually information that you normally keep hidden) to another person” (DeVito 189). In my opinion, self-disclosure is when we tell my information to other person. For a good understanding of this concept we need to know when we do a self-disclosure, we are not just ourselves, we need at least one other individual.

            I think I did too much self-disclosure in my life. Sometime for exchange information between two people, we may use self-disclosure to exchange information with the other person to build a good relationship. For example, in my life, sometimes I use self-disclosure to build relationship. One time I took a bus to my grandmother’s home. I was bored, so I talked with the person next to me. I told the person the reason why I was on the bus. I used self-disclosure because I wanted to talk with the person to make the trip interesting. At first, the person was happy to talk with me, but after a half hour he stopped talking. I think with this conversation I missed some sign about what moment I should stop self-disclosure. Sometimes people do not like to talk too much with a stranger because this may bring some safety problems.

Avoid Touch

According to the textbook, “Much as we touch and are touched, we also avoid touch from certain people and in certain circumstances” (DeVito 146). In my opinion, touch avoidance is when we do not like to touch another person and at the same time also do not like people to touch us. Different people have different way of communication. Even the same person at different times may have different levels of touch avoidance.

I think I am a high touch avoidant person. Sometimes high touch avoidant may bring some problems. For example, in China we do not like to touch each other at normal communication, but in the United States people like to hug each other. When friends see each other they feel happy; they may want to hug each other. This really made me feel uncomfortable because I come from a different culture. In my country, we do not like to share hugs between friends except with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Now I feel comfortable with this kind touch because I think I should adapt to the culture. With this I figured out when we come together with different cultures, we may have different levels of touch avoidance.

Relationship Turning Point

          I think relationship turning points are a really interesting concept. In different cultures with the same thing we may get different relationship turning points. Devito tells me, “movement through the various stages usually is a gradually process; you don’t jump from contact to involvement to intimacy. Rather, you progress gradually, a few degrees at a time. Yet there are often turning points” (DeVito 218). In my opinion, with turning point when we change the relationship from one level to another level, we have a turning point.

            When we build a relationship we always have the turning point. For example, in China, the girl and boy have a good romantic relationship, they want to get married. So, they will see each other’s parents, and then they will go get married. The process of meeting each other’s parents is a turning point. In China, people who want to get married should first see each other’s parents. If the parents agree with them, then they can get married. I think we can say this turning point is positive or negative. if the parents agree with them, this turn point is positive; if the parents disagree with them, this turning point will become a negative point. They romantic relationship may break. In China, people are always careful with this turning point because it may bring a big problem.

Social Clock

          According to the textbook, “social clock is as well as your more specific society, maintains a schedule for the right time to do a variety of important things” (DeVito 153). In my opinion, social clock is when I do all things I follow a schedule to do them. I make a plan for each thing I want to do. If I cannot follow the plan, I will think I did not follow the social clock.

            I think I am a person that wants to follow the social clock to do everything. For example, I do everything at the right time. In my country all people that are the same age finish their high school and bachelor at the same time. They also start dating at the same time. I think I am on track with the social clock. I finished my high school at eighteen years old, and I got my social degree at twenty- one years old. In my country people are finished at the same time. There are also some people who do not follow this schedule, I think they did not follow the social clock.

Facial Communication

           I think I used a lot of  facial communication during my everyday communication. There are three types of facial communication, of which the one, called culture and facial expressions, has been mostly used by me. According to textbook, “The wide variations in facial communication that we observe in different cultures seem to reflect which reactions are publicly permissible, rather than a difference in the way emotions are facially expressed” (DeVito 138). In my opinion, culture and facial expressions means that different cultures have different facial communications.

            For example, by following my culture and facial expressions I usually hide my smiles with my hands when I smile, because in my culture if women smile openly, people will feel they are not polite and too rough. In addition, in my country we also do not show bad emotions in front of people. For example, sometime I feel bad for somebody who talks to me like I am not a good person, but I never express my feeling in front of them. I think I can not give negative feedback to other people because in my culture this is a bad behavior. We always try to give positive feedback to other people to encourage them.